Non veg jokes part 1

1.

Ek Pathan road pe susu kar rha tha
Police ne pakda:Ye gair kanuni hai
Pathan:Ya alla, Ye kya bolti tum?
GAIR KA NUNI?
Ye bachpan se humara apna NUNI h...:-D:-D

2.

Santa Kamwali ko ched raha tha.

Kamwali: Battamizi mat kar, MOR bana dungi.

Santa: Murga banate suna tha. Mor kaise banate hai.

Kamwali: Gand me ulti zadu daal ke.

3.

Aaj kal ke bachho ki haramipanti :

MADAM : shor mat karo nahi to khadda kar

dungi..

Bachhe:

pehele mera..

pehele mera..

pehele mera..?

4.

The best ever English to hindi dictionary for guys:

xcuse me= sun chutiye;

stupid= abe gandu;

get out= Nikal bhosdike;

I m in problem = Yaar Loude lag gaye;

I am scared= gaand phati hui hai yaar;

Where r u= Abbey Kahan maa chuda raha hai;

Would u like to have this= lega laudu;

Not possible!!!= chal bhosdike;

He is a very bad person= Bada madarchod hai;

I'm sorry = maa chuda;

Where r u? = kahan gaand mara raha hai?;

I 4give u! = muh mei le le;

No = ghanta;

Too small= jhaant barabar;

Too big= gaandfaadu;

Difficulty= gaand faat gayi;

We rock= maa chod di;

And finally the best one:

Dost= laude......:D :D :D

5.

Wife comes home late at night 

and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. 

From under the blanket 

she sees four legs instead of two! 

She reaches for a baseball bat 

and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. 

Once she's done, 

she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. 

As she enters, 

she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. :s 

"hi darling", he says, 

"your parents have come to visit us, 

so I let them stay in our bedroom. 

Hope you have said hello to them.

6.

एक लड़की की पैट्रोल डालने वाले से शादी हो गई। अगले दिन लड़की की सहेलियों ने उससे पूछा कि सुहागरात कैसी रही?

लड़की: साला सारी रात हाथ में लेकर घूमता रहा और बार-बार पूछता रहा कितना डालूं?

7.

Sir: Bachho Duniya Me Har Baat Ke 2 Matlab Niklte Hai Girl: Masterji Nikal Ke Dikhaiye. Sir: Baith Ja Kudiye, Teri Baat Ke Bhi Do Matlab Nikalte Hai

8.

Ek kutiya ne 4 pillon ko janam diya Pillon ne pucha papa kahan hai kutiya boli chup raho kamino papa jokes ko padhne mein busy hain...Tongue

9.

Ek baar maine Ek Ladki Ko Chhed Diya..

Ladki Boli:

Kamine, Dum Hai To Kabhi Akele Mein Aake

Mil..

I'm still thinking...

Kamini, Dhamki Deke Gayi Ya Chance :P

10.

Bilkul naya

(Baccha fone pe): ye kaha ka number hai..

Constable: Police Station

Baccha: haath me kya hai?

Constable: danda.

Baccha: gaand me daal lo.

Ye keh k bacche ne fone kaat diya.Constable ne number nikal k usi no pe fone kia to bacche ki maa ne uthaya.

Constable: Yaha se kisi bacche ne fone kiya or kaha k danda gaand me daal lo.

Maa: kitni der pehle?

Constable: 10 minute huye.

Maa: ohh..sorry kaafi der ho gai,nikaal lo..Aap bhi kahan bacche ki baaton me aa gaye..??????